But would a foot by any other name still smell as sweet?

Discoveries are made sometimes under the most absurd circumstances.

Take, for instance, my recent discovery that there is a part of the body that has no name.

This discovery was made while talking to my friend, who wishes to remain anonymous.

It seems an episode of unbridled laziness has nearly cost her the top of her foot.

It started out innocently enough. All she intended to accomplish was to feed some burritos (left over from supper – not their usual fare) to her dogs.

However, it was raining.

(The plot thickens.) She didn’t feel particularly inclined to expound the energy of putting on a pair of shoes for just the two or three steps out on the back porch to give the burritos a heave.

So, she conjectured the idea that she would deftly take one giant step out onto the middle of the porch, give the burritos a “Grecian throw,” and then pirouette back inside the house, dainty as could be.

All went well at first. She took her giant step out onto the porch, hoisted the burritos through the air. But somehow, things went downhill from there.

Rather than making a dainty pirouette, somehow the foot intended to remain planted on the kitchen floor went slipping away. The other foot, bearing her weight to keep her from wiping out, was dragged upside down into the house across the bricks and metal doorplate.

Ouch.

She likened the top of her foot to ground beef.

It was at that point that I realized this body part has no name.

And somewhat startled by this discovery, my friend agreed with me. There is no name for this part of the body. No title that either one of us could think of other than “top of the foot.”

Think about this for a moment. Somehow a vital yet misunderstood and underappreciated body part has gone unnamed for all time.

What is it about the top of the foot that gets no recognition? Every other foot part has its own name. You have your heel, ankle, toes, sole, even a ball and an arch for the part that sticks up underneath. Yet the poor “top of the foot” has no moniker.

Now we got to thinking that somebody should do something. Everything from your scalp to your toenail has a name, and so, by gollies, should the top of the foot.

We could even write a song about it.

“Now I’m hopping through the desert on a foot with no name…”

After at least a minute or two of thorough research and polling random passers by for nominations, I think the top of the foot should hereupon be named the roof.

It makes as much sense as any other name, especially since it is on top of the foot. And if a nose can have a bridge, then a foot surely can have a roof.

It also makes sense in my friend’s predicament. When someone asks what happened to her foot, she can just tell them she fell on her roof.

Which leads to another medical question: Is the roof an area of the body that could be affected by shingles?

And if a brown recluse spider crawled across the top of your foot, would that be considered a fiddler on your roof?

Well, I don’t know about that. But I, for one, will sleep better tonight knowing that the top of the foot now has its own name.

And you should be glad, too. Knowing this fact makes you smarter than the average bear. You could say it gives you a “leg up” on the competition.

And if anybody questions the authenticity of this claim to a name, send them to me. I’ll tell them, “I toed you so.”